Why Do Some People Feel Needy When They Are In A Relationship?

Despite whether one is seeing someone not, they may find that they don't feel poor. What this can show is that one has a solid focus, and this is the reason can work.

One Experience

Hence, in the event that one is not in a relationship, they are not going to be in a position where they can't concentrate on their life. Presently, it is not necessarily the case that they won't want to be with somebody; what it means is this is not something that will expend them.

This can be the same as one wanting to go on vacation, yet at the end of the day, it won't not assume control over their life. Through being like this, it will be a considerable measure less demanding for them to benefit as much as possible from their time on this planet.

Different Areas

What this can likewise show is that one has an existence that merits living; with their being various zones throughout their life that bring them satisfaction. With regards to their profession, this could be something that they are focused on.

It is then something that genuinely matters, and this will be the reason it will have a beneficial outcome to their life. What's more, one could have various dear companions, and these individuals will bigly affect them.

Interests

However, regardless of the possibility that they are not working, it doesn't imply that one will simply lounge around doing nothing. There could be various things that they get a kick out of the chance to do when they have leisure time.

Amid this time, they may jump at the chance to take part in some sort of activity as well as to invest energy in nature. Alongside this, they may jump at the chance to build up their psyche by perusing books on various subjects.

Another Experience

In the event that, then again, one had quite recently begun seeing somebody, they may find that they invest energy pondering the individual in their life. All things being equal, this doesn't imply that they won't have the capacity to carry on as in an indistinguishable path from they typically do.

One may see that their state of mind has been raised, however that may be the extent that it will go. At last, despite the fact that one part of their life has transformed, they are as yet going to need to appear in different aspects of their life.

Diverted

In the event that one enabled themselves to be focused on the individual they are with, it wouldn't be workable for them to deal with life. Their execution at work would endure and, on the off chance that they were with their companions/family, their consideration would be elsewhere.

One would then observe that despite the fact that they feel better through having this individual in their life, it has negatively affected whatever is left of their life. It will be as though they have increased a certain something, yet lost a considerable measure of different things.

Feeling of Self

So through having the capacity to appear in different aspects of their life when they are seeing someone, will enable them to act naturally when they are with their accomplice. This doesn't imply that they will act in an indistinguishable route from they did when they initially met them, as they may have changed somewhat; what it means is that they won't have totally changed.

One will be in contact with their identity and there will be no purpose behind them to be another person. Said another way, one will feel good in their own skin and this will prevent them from losing themselves.

The Ideal

Furthermore, on the off chance that one needs the relationship to last, one might say that this will be the most ideal route for them to carry on. This comes down to the way this is who the other individual was attracted to the primary spot.

If they somehow managed to change, it would be the same as one purchasing an auto that winds up changing into a bicycle. The reason one brought auto is on account of they need one; on the off chance that they required a bicycle, they would have gotten on

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Is being faithful difficult? see reasons

I sometimes ask myself, what does it take to be Faithful, is being faithful difficult? How can couples stay faithful to themselves?
Well after some deep thoughts I've compiled some reasons why being faithful is difficult and at the same time not difficult...

WHY BEING FAITHFUL IS NOT DIFFICULT? 

• WHERE TRUE LOVE EXIST: I definitely know many of you who have never really been in love will argue. But it's the truth. When you truly love your partner (am not talking about lust) you'll do everything to make him/her happy. 
• HARDCORE COMMUNICATION : This is actually really important as even in distance relationship it makes the bond stronger. Constant communication make both couples feel close hence not giving room for unfaithfulness. 
• TRUST: We all know trust is the foundation of a good relationship. Where trust exist there won't be doubts.
• BEING THERE FOR EACH OTHER : There are times when your partner would really need someone to talk to, cuddle or just be with. You need to make yourself available at all times. Not giving your partner due attention lead him/her to seek attention else were. Thus being unfaithful. 

WHY BEING FAITHFUL IS DIFFICULT 

• GREED: Many of us are guilty of this. We are never satisfied, we always want more from outside, this implies to both male and female.  The male want fresh blood the female Want more money. 
• WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON SEX: We all know the consequences of building a relationship or marriage based on sex. Once the other partner isn't available for sex it lead to being unfaithful. 
• KEEPING BAD FRIENDS: Case we don't know, our friends also play role in our lives as well as our relationship. Keeping bad friends will corrupt your mind thereby leading you into something you never thought of doing. 
• LACK OF SELF CONTROL : We all know what this mean. Some of us are actually sex freak. Especially men. They want everything under a woman's skirt. Thus making most men unfaithful. 
• 
  

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Why Do Some Women Believe That All Men Hate Women?

If one turned into to go surfing and to look for statistics on the ladies's motion, they're probable to come across all types of perspectives and critiques. In fact, this may also take vicinity if one became to absolutely locate those who were a part of this motion in their neighborhood vicinity.

college

as an example, if one is a student, there is a sturdy hazard that there can be a society that they could cross and go to. this could give them the chance to concentrate to what women (and guys) have to say in relation to their perspectives and experiences.

One could then decide to transport onto something else, or they may end up going there on a everyday basis. As to whether or not they go returned again can all depend upon in the event that they accept as true with what is being stated.

Their revel in

this can be a time wherein one feels as although they are able to relate to what the humans on this organization undergo. The manner they experience life is then going to be verified and they'll need to return back once more.

at the equal time, one could pass there with an open thoughts, and then earlier than lengthy, they may end up going along with what is being said. One changed into then receptive to what they have been listening to and this allowed them to soak it up.

on line

If one became to simply browse the web as a substitute, they might nonetheless become looking to turn out to be part of this movement. it is able to be stated that it doesn't remember what path they take; what subjects is what they're searching out and if they're without problems influenced.

as if they are able to relate to what's being expressed, it won't be essential for them to go to a society. What they read approximately on-line will pull them in and as a way to get the ball rolling, so to speak.

A not unusual Outlook

via being uncovered to this statistics on line or thru being around different people who've those views, one should hear that every one men hate girls. primarily based in this, all men are going to be visible as 'misogynists'.

this will be some thing that one goes at the side of, or they could locate it difficult to agree with. If one is going together with it, there's going to be no reason for absolutely everyone to prove that this is the case; it will simply be seen because the fact.

Stepping again

while one doesn't go with this outlook, it does not imply that they'll flip their back on this movement. as a substitute, one could nonetheless go with it and identity with the other views that they have.

alternatively, this will be sufficient to make them take a step back and to take a deeper look at what goes on. One may start to surprise how a female can believe that every one guys hate ladies.

evidence

still, if one was to ask one how they got here to this conclusion, it does not mean that they may be quick of proof. this can be something this is furnished via speaking approximately certain regions of society, or they may log on and display them different resources, amongst different things.

both manner, one could find that the women who say that every one guys hate women aren't always the most emotionally strong humans. they'll additionally see that a whole lot of them are packed with hate and anger themselves.

The mind

but, while one believes something, and their feelings are out of control, it may be greater or less not possible for them to peer life in another way. that is because human beings are not in reality observers of their truth, they're co-creators.

therefore, if one believes something, it may stop them from seeing whatever that goes against what they agree with. yet, if one is ignorant of how this works, they may be going to believe that what they see proves that they're right.

each approaches

stated another manner, that is the same as one planting a seed after which looking the seed grow. in relation to what grows after, one will realize that it is because they have planted it; they are not going to be amazed via what's taking location.

then again, in relation to how one perceives existence, they can be completely oblivious to the fact that their stories are mirroring again what they have planted of their very own mind. this is why you'll grow to be being victimised by using their very own believes, or what they're now not willing to face within themselves, as an example.

Projection

Now, this is not to say that men do not exist who hate women, as this isn't going to be the case. while a woman believes that every one guys hate girls, it can be a signal that she is disconnected from what is taking place at a deeper level.

As a end result, this can then set her up to peer what she is not inclined to face within herself in men, and this is why this is some thing she studies everywhere she goes. the detest that she attributes to all guys is then a reflection of what she needs to well known within herself.

Violated

At one point in her life, and this will were throughout her youth years, she may were harmed by means of a man. this could also have been some thing she skilled on a everyday foundation.

On one aspect, this will have set them as much as sense powerless, and on the alternative, there might have been the feeling of shame. And even though this could have best been some thing she experienced with one guy, their mind would have come to consider that all men are the same.

Disconnected

Their reptile mind is in all likelihood to have shaped this association as a manner to hold them alive all through this time. it's miles then going to be irrelevant that the other individual would not represent all men, as it might be seen because the absolute fact.

One would then have gradually disconnected from what befell and the emotions inside their frame and how they felt all through that time will come to be being seen in guys. One way of searching at this will be to say that criticising guys is a manner for them to revel in indirect revenge.

toxic shame

similarly to this, the detest that they enjoy is there to prevent them from having to face how they feel. in the event that they have been to transport via their hate and anger, they could emerge as feeling a deep sense of disgrace.

although having the tendency to experience hate and anger can motive them to be out of manipulate and to have a negative have an effect on their health, it's miles going to permit them to experience higher than in the event that they were to experience the poisonous shame this is within them. If this changed into to take place, they could end up feeling worthless and powerless once more.

end

it can then be stated that the part of them that has been wounded has taken over, and until this part of them is healed, their beyond will keep to outline their existence. One has then long gone from being the sufferer, to being the one who victimises others.

nonetheless, that is not going to trade until one is able to take a step again and to look why they're experiencing existence in this way. Self-focus is therefore the key, however this is not something that can be forced upon them.

Prolific author, creator, and teach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all factors of human transformation, which includes love, partnership, self-love, and internal focus. With over a thousand in-intensity articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver gives desire alongside together with his sound advice. His cutting-edge projects include 'A communicate With The coronary heart' and 'verbal exchange Made easy'.

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Can the opposite sex be best of friends?

This actually has been a trending question for decades now and many have their own view on weather its a Yes or No.
I choose this topic cos am a victim of such of course I have my own view on why it's a No.

In some instance whereby two opposite sex grew up together from childhood to adulthood of course those times being a child would be clean thought but getting to the age of maturity wrong thoughts start coming in even though either of them would be scared to open up.
I've also had experience in case whereby by the both friends are in serious relationship with someone else thus there is a 40% possibility of no strings attached but could be dangerous cos mistakes or circumstances may occur.

Once two best friends engaged in sexual trust me that friendship is dead and can never be rebuild.

Put me for example, am in a serious relationship but have a childhood friend whom we've shared almost everything in common. She's the opposite sex.
Now fact that am in a serious relationship and she is also in a serious relationship best thing for us is to reduce our closeness for the sake or saving our own relationship with our partner. No lady will wanna see her man close to another lady than her even if the lady is his sister likewise the guy. So to save your own relationship there must be a limit.

On this occasion I boldly say NO two opposite sex can never be best of friends.
Rather, make your own woman or man your best friend.

To air your own opinion kindly hit the comment section and we'll bring room for discussion. 

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Why most relationship don't last

In our world today, its no new thing relationship crumble and most times either the lady or the guy is to be blame, but trust me none will wish to take the blame.

Funny thing is most guys want sex more than they want the relationship

You can read our previous articles for reference
Secret of a great relationship
Trust in a relatiosnship

Why most relationship don't last?
We'll take a look at some reasons or causes why many/most relationships don't.

• Most relationship don't last cos the guys ask for sex frequently not considering weather his partner is in mood for sex or going through her circle. This lead to the lady being uncomfortable with her partner/spouse.
• Nagging women can break up a relationship worst more marriages. The ladies need to understand men have loads of things on their head so when you Nag its like you're adding more burden to his already crippled burden, thus the man will try to give space.
• Cheating as we all know is the major/usual cause for broken relationships. but this one baffles me alot cos i don't see why a man or lady should cheat on his/her partner/spouse. 
• Lack of understanding in a relationship can as well break. When both partner lack understanding, there are possibility that they will quarrel often, and we all know the outcome when the quarrel becomes too much.
• Money can be a vital problem in a relationship. I know you'll be wondering why MONEY is on the list. well its the duty for both partners/spouse to assist each other financially.
• Respect should end my list. i don't need to say much here, we know respect is reciprocal.

Stay tune for our next post

  

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How To Survive A Distant Relationship

Talking about Distant relationship to some people is like goodbye forever especially guys,  Many people see distant relationship as impossible, futile or even ghost relationship even the ones who pretend to be OK with it still cheat in order to satisfy their desire.

Read also Trust in a relationship


Thank God for technology, Atleast unlike in the 80s or early 90s communication was a bit difficult.

(PS)  This article is not just about "surviving" it’s about developing and growing your long-distance relationship.

The truth is being in a long distant relationship is a big challenge, I've been in that road even till now am still facing a long distant relationship with my woman. But trust me it's definitely worth it if you're committed to developing your relationship and maintaining honesty.

I'll share with you five(5) hints on how I made my relationship strong irrespective of distance and I hope it'll help you maintaim your distant relationship.

1. Communication: Every relationship, distance or close is equipped with communication. Luckily for our generation we have easy access to communicate to our loved ones.
But long distant relationship entails more communication, if possible daily.  That way we feel closer to each other, there won't be any reason to miss each other.
Lack of communication kills relationship even if she's a stone throw to you.

2. Trust: In every relationship, Trust is the foundation, where there is no trust, love fades now imagine a distance relationship where trust does not exist.  What do you think will happen to such relationship?
(Read my next article on how to build trust in a relationship)

3. Assumption: This is very dangerous to every relationship. I know you'll be thinking what does Assumption got to do with this article.  Well many of us are faced with situations assuming what we're not certain about.  For example : you call your spouse and the area is noisy, you ask her where she is and she tells you she's at home. Now an average man will start getting foul thoughts in his brain that probably she's in a party or club.  Such attitude is very risky in a relationship especially a long distant relationship.

4. Having the right thoughts: Yes this is also Included.  When all you do is think about sex, you'll be push to cheat.  Fill your thoughts with good things, busy your mind or rather think about your spouse daily. You'll see your love towards your spouse will increase rapidly.
This is also related in Number 1 (Communication) communicate with your spouse regularly that way only his/her thought will bemish your head.

5. Involve God: I don't want you to see this blog as too religious or biased, being that I only involve Christian God and not Allah.  But for my Atheist friends.
A relationship where God does not exist, that relationship does not exist as well.  Remember God himself is love so therefore build your relationship in God and trust me you'll never regret.

Stay tuned to our next article on HOW TO BUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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Pride of Virginity

A lot of ladies complain that guys walk away from them simply because they refused to give them s*x some are even tempted to give away their virginity just to keep the guys.

Let me be very blunt here. Virginity may not be the real reason the guys go away. Yes, no doubt, there are several guys who want s*x and if they don’t get it they walk away. The problem may not be with the virginity or the sex.

The story of the Ten virgins in the Bible reveals that both the wise and foolish were both virgins, the other five were not refused from seeing the bridegroom because they were virgins or because they lost their virginity, but because
they were foolish; they were called foolish because they had no EXTRA OIL.
Most ladies don’t have any EXTRA OIL to
sustain any relationship. While many brag about their virginity, that is all they have to offer, they forget that virginity ends the night after the wedding, but EXTRA OIL is what will keep marriage
going.

If a man ask a lady for sex she says NO, the man can walk away if what he really wanted was sex and also if that is all he thinks the lady can offer him. A man may not come to a lady for s*x. along the line he may be tempted to ask fors*x, if the lady turns him down, the man may still stay in the relationship if he sees other things that are valuable to him, but if he doesn’t, he may walk away.

Before you think guys are walking away
because you are a virgin, look inwardly.
Some ladies who brag about virginity are
somewhat timid, some impolite, uncultured and aggressive. Why would a guy stay with such a lady? Some ladies do not have manners, some do not have much upstairs, some are not social, some are dull, and maybe the best thing they have is their hips, nice backside, nice breast and nice lips, and so when
a guy comes because of all the physical
shapes and wants s*x if he is turned down, he walks away because there is nothing else interesting about the lady.
Most men now are even scared of marrying such virgins. Their fears prompt them to want to test before they discuss marriage because many ladies who got married as virgins have caused their husbands to be looking elsewhere because they are too naïve on bed.
However, you don’t need to test to be sure she will be good, you can know a lady who will be good at home and bed by her decent conversation, by the level of knowledge acquired, by her quest/zest passion for knowledge and by God’s leading. I know of many ladies who are
still virgins, they have great relationships, they have many friends around them, you may not even know they are still virgins unless they tell you. Do not break your virginity because a guy wants to walk away, unless you
don’t have anything else to offer in the

relationship. It is not all about virginity, work to build up virtue. Virginity is good, but to your virginity, add knowledge, add EXTRA OIL….“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith, virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; And to knowledge, temperance; and to temperance, patience; and to patience, godliness, And to godliness, brotherly kindness; and
to brotherly kindness, charity.” 

Virginity or no virginity...,doyou have any Extra oil to sustain a relationship?
Ponder on this words ladies

Article written by Ayere Priscilla 

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10 Signs You ' re Becoming the Best of Strangers

There are signs that you're a committed couple; you know each other's favorite foods, favorite places, interests, goals, likes and dislikes. When things are in motion to becoming a couple learning more about each other is vitally important; when you're growing apart, there are different signs. You're becoming strangers to one another. How can you recognize when this is happening to your relationship?

1) You stop sharing conversations about things that were important to both of you.
2) You stop attending things together that used to be a part of your routine.
3) Your partner is no longer interested in going to family functions together.
4) Your partner gets a new car or other vehicle and you did not know they were looking.
5) Your partner changes jobs; you did not know they were looking.
6) Your opinion about household changes no longer matters.
7) Your partner has new interests you were unaware of.
8) Their opinions about things that were important to both of you are suddenly completely different; someone else's influence has taken precedence.
9) They fail to notice significant changes about you.
10) Someone outside of your relationship brings a small gift because they knew your partner would love it; you didn't know they had an interest in that.

Somehow growing apart is far less noticeable than growing together.

Enchantment is far more captivating that disenchantment. Does it mean your relationship is over? It is if you're not interested in growing together again, either of you. A lack of interest is the culprit behind becoming strangers.

When you realize this is happening it is good to know that an opportunity lies within the jarring realization that your life may be about to change significantly. It is time to make an honest and unemotional assessment about why this is happening. Have you grown apart because you have new interests that are not shared? Have you gotten familiar enough with one another to discover that you really don't have an interest in the future of your partner or a future together? If familiarity has bred contempt it is time to take advantage of the opportunity to make a graceful exit while you are both in the process of an emotional separation, and that is what growing apart is.

If, on the other hand, you have become so comfortable in your relationship that either of you imagined it was not necessary to pay careful attention to each other and the direction you are moving towards it is time for a serious wake up call. If continuing your relationship is important to both of you and this has happened because of a lack of attention it is necessary to redefine your priorities.


Why is it important to remove the emotion as you assess this situation? If what you have together is real and sustaining it will withstand the light that emerges even without the emotional tug of memories. Real love is undeniable, gentle and lasting; and worth pursuing and protecting.

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The Scissors Couples (must read for all married couples )

I needed to use the scissors this morning and as I finished with it. I looked at it carefully and I see that, the scissors models an ideal couple. Let's see some lessons every couple should learn from the scissors so that we can become better couples and build enviable homes.

Read also The unbroken silence
                  Sex in a relationship
                   Advantage of being single

 LESSON 1. The scissors is always in pairs& that's where its usefulness is. Once you see one part& the other part is not there, it is useless no matter how beautiful it is. The effectiveness of every marriage is lost when couples are not together. Separation & divorce destroy the effectiveness& usefulness of every marriage. Remember, 'united we stand, divided we fall'. Separation is not only when you separate physically & you are no longer living together. There are many couples who are together under the same roof but are spiritually, emotionally, sexually, financially, socially, etc separated. Are you sure you& your spouse are not separated in one of these ways?

LESSON 2: The togetherness of scissors is not automatic. There is a small bolt or pin that fixed the scissors together in the middle. In the same vein, if couples must be bounded together like this scissors, there must be 'bolts' that must fixed& wed them together that will make them inseparable. Some of the 'bolts' are √The presence of God √ openness& trust √ Unity √ Healthy& joyful sex life √ family vision √ good family finance √ hot family altar, etc. I tried separating this scissors this morning, but the pin was so deep & tight into it that it was not easy for me to separate them.

Lesson 3: The scissors is useless except someone holds it. Couples can't be effective except they allow God to hold them and use them to achieve their marital destiny. No family is really useless. It is either you are positively useful& that happens when it is God holding the two of you. You will be negatively useful when it is the devil holding the two of you. The devil can hold the two of you and use you to destroy each other,and destroy the future of your children & even destroy your eternity. Ask yourself as couples. Who is holding us& holding our family.?

 Lesson 4: Each pair of the scissors has a sharp part& a dull part. The face is sharp while the back is dull. In the same vein, each couple has his/ her area of strengths & weaknesses. Your spouse is not empty. Though you might see the 'dull part' of your spouse, but if you want your marriage to accomplish its purpose; you must recognise the 'sharp part' of your spouse. You also must display your 'sharp part' ( strengths). Don't just display your 'dull part'. That destroys marriage fast!.

Lesson 5: Synergy in working: The two pairs must come together before it can cut whatever you want to use it to cut. Each pair will bring its sharpness& join it with the sharpness of the other pair& cutting will be done easily& smoothly. In like manner, synergy is the energy of any family. All these, my money, my car,my own, my thing, me, mine, myself syndromes will sap away the energy of your marriage. Synergize your resources, money, connection, visions as couples so as to give energy to your marriage to advance it to the next level. 'Iness' is the mother of illness of marriage while 'WEness' is the mother of wellness of every marriage. You want energy for your marriage?, then go for synergy.

Don't forget to read 10 tips to make your relationship or marriage last long or forever

Only 'SCISSORS COUPLES' are SERIOUS COUPLES. You can share to bless a family. The joy of your family is my priority.

Don't forget to subscribe to our post, buy or books and like our facebook page.  

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10 tips to make your relationship last long or forever

What is love? Its not just about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship.  It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build until the end.  A good relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive.  It should put a wider smile on you and your life a little brighter.

Happy, healthy personal relationships are one of the greatest joys of life.  So starting today, choose to take control of your relationship with your significant other with this 10 tips. 

You need to be with someone who knows your worth and value,  someone who will put a smile on you face. 

Read also Making your long distance relationship work 

I.  Remember that every person and relationship is different.

People don’t fall in love with what makes you the same; they fall in love with what makes you different.  Be your imperfectly perfect self.  We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are and not what they think we are.  And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love most about us.

2. DONT COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Never compare your relationship to anyone else’s – not your parent’s, friend’s, coworker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect.  Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, and love habits.  Just focus on you two, and making your relationship the best it can be. 

3.  DONT JUDGE

It’s far too easy to look at someone and make a snap judgment about them.  But you’d be amazed at the pain and tears a smile hides.  What a person shows to the public is only a small fraction of the iceberg hidden from sight.  And more often than not, it’s lined with cracks and scars that run all the way to the foundation of their soul.

Never judge.  Learn to respect and acknowledge the feelings of your significant other.  Pay close attention to them.  Be present.  We don’t always need advice.  Sometimes all we need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand.  There is a time to speak out and a time to remain silent.  True wisdom comes from knowing the difference.  And this difference can make or break a healthy relationship.  

4.  BE OPEN

Share what is going on in your mind and heart.  Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams.  Open communication and honesty is vital to healthy relationships.  Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.

Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication running.  Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people, especially your significant other, try to read yours.

Read also Secret of a great relationship

5.  ALWAYS MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE

Be there through the good, bad, happy, and sad times – no matter what.  Be willing to provide a listening ear, a smiling face,  a hug, and emotional support in all circumstances.  Trust that you can count on each other, and be available not only when it’s convenient, but when you need each other the most.

6. BE LOYAL

True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable.  These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.  When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority.  Loyalty is everything.

7.  BE TRUTHFUL

Inner peace is being able to rest at night knowing you haven’t used or taken advantage of anyone to get to where you are in life.  Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons.  Run a marathon.  Live so that when others think of fairness, integrity and reliability, they think of you.  

8.  HAVE TIME FOR EACH OTHER. 

Make time for each other.  With our busy schedules we often forget to relax and enjoy the great company we have.  In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words

Carve out a special time for just the two of you once a week.  Do something fun.  Spend time together talking, going on dates, and making each other laugh.  Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine but also true that shared laughter can make a good relationship great.

9.  HELP EACH OTHER 

Having an appreciation for how amazing your significant other is leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for them when they’re making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions.  Challenge them to be the best they can be.  And be thankful for their blessings, openly.

10.  SETTLE DISPUTE PEACEFULLY

Not much is worth fighting about.  Heated arguments are a waste of time.  If you can avoid it, don’t fight.  Step back from arguments with your loved ones.

When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away.  Don’t let your anger get the best of you.  You don’t have to be right or win an argument.  It just doesn’t matter that much.  Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

TO buttress the above points,  have a self love for your self. Don’t rely on your significant other, or anyone else, for your happiness and self worth.  Only you can be responsible for that.  If you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to either.

Accept who you are completely – the good and the bad.  And make changes in your life as YOU see fit – not because you think anyone else wants you to be different, but because you know it’s the right thing to do, for you.  

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Sex in a relationship

One of the greatest headaches of many young ladies in relationship is the issue of sex. While they find themselves entangled in love, they also would not want to offend God by fornicating.

Meanwhile, most young men of today are always demanding sex before marriage as a proof of love. If a lady denies her boyfriend (fiance) sex, he tends to think she either does not love him or she is seeing another guy. And this throws the

lady into so much confusion. She genuinely loves the guy but wouldn't want to give in to sex. If she denies him, she may lose him and if she gives in too she disobeys God. Sorry to our ladies.

Read also ADVICE TO LADIES/WOMAN ON HOW TO TREAT YOUR SPOUSE

Gentleman, please know that it is absolutely a lie from the pit of hell that if your fiancee does not give you sex it shows she doesn't love you. 

How can you use sex as a LOVEOMETRE? Have you never slept with ladies you didn't truly love? If you haven't then let me tell you that many people are having sex with people they never love. And the men are themselves the worst culprits.

If sex is a proof of love then we have to conclude that prostitutes love all the men they sleep with.

If sex is a proof of love then we have to go about sleeping with our best friends and even family members to show how deeply we love them.

Even married couples, do not have sex to prove their love. They rather have sex because sex is part of marriage and it is meant for both procreation and recreation - child birth and enjoyment. 

Recommend post Secret of a great relationship

Don't you know that there are married

couples who are not genuinely in love but they still have sex as a matter of duty or just for cover-ups?

Surely, sex plays a major role in love affairs. But

Eccl 3:1 says, "For everything there is a
season..." It is never the right season to have sex in a relationship. This is because sex is a blood covenant between husband and wife not boyfriend and girlfriend.

 Gen. 4:1 says, "Adam knew his wife". It does not say "Adam knew his girlfriend".

Stop going that far with the lady. If you want to know about a woman's love for you sex is never the answer. Leave her alone to serve God right for your own sake if you truly want to marry her.

Song of Songs 2:7 says, "I charge you, O
daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelle...that you AWAKEN NOT LOVE UNTIL IT IS TIME".

The gazelle is a very swift animal. It runs at least 96 km per hour. Bible compares romance to the gazelle. If you start romance at the wrong time you may crush because you will not be able to

stop it from running your life at top speed. So until you are married, don't AWAKEN LOVE. 

Sex has been the main reason for most broken hearts and disappointments.

Sex is called love-making because it involves the body, soul and spirit. Do you want your soul and spirit to be tied to somebody who is not married to you? Can you stand the consequences, Mr.

Young Man? Hear the Bible:

"O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, DO NOT SPEND YOUR STRENGTH ON WOMEN, YOUR VIGOUR ON THOSE WHO DESTROY
KINGS." (Prov. 31:2)

Sex before marriage can destroy you, even your Christian life. The funny thing is some Brothers in Christ even worry the Sisters in Christ for sex. So God says, "My son...son of my vow". You are a son of God so don't waste your energy on women. You should rather be teaching her chastity and help her serve God well.

Seeking love from sex is like looking for Jesus in an empty tomb.(Word) Take it easy. When you marry you will be fed up with sex. Your wife will be chasing you with it and you will be running away,

saying, "Oh I'm tired, why?". Take time okay, Wait patiently. It will soon be laid at your doorstep and you will notice how stupid it is to chase sex when you are not married.

See also Advice for Building Relationships that are Healthy, Happy and Satisfying

If you want a woman to prove her love to you, allow her some space to be herself. Do not force your will on her or control her. Her love, by nature, will push her to do things that will signal to you that you are her top priority. She will be ready to marry you, than just have fun with you.

She will not be interested in you showering things on her but rather, she would want both of you to set your life and future right. She will support your dreams and visions and help you build up your Christian life. In fact, she will exhibit the spirit of humility and you will also discover she is a precious jewel in a glass jar, reserved for you alone.

So from today, even if she herself brings sex, tell her..."Do not awaken love until it is time." And if you guys love each other, plan about marrying and submit your plans to God. He will bless it and put you two together as one..

 Ladies...you should also read before sending to him I wish u read all to the last.....our ladies are dying in the hands of some unmerciful men. 

 Sex has turned many ladies into a mystery of thinking what they feel for a particular guy is true love.

You meet a guy, he takes you out; He had a great sex with you, it was like heaven to you. He makes you feel happy because you enjoyed him so much you start assuming both of you are meant to be together as husband & wife.

You start dreaming of your future with him while he's just having fun. Your feelings for him has blindfolded you from seeing things from the reality point

of view. You find yourself infatuated with him just because you don't want to feel used & dumped.

Sometimes you need to sit down & ask yourself; what do i really love about this guy? 

Don't start dreaming of your future with a guy who is just catching his fun. Don't attach a permanent feeling to a temporal person. Don't open up your heart to

a guy who doesn't open his bible. Stop chasing after a guy who doesn't chase after God.(Word👌🏻)

Kindly share so others can benefit 

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ADVICE TO LADIES/WOMAN ON HOW TO TREAT YOUR SPOUSE

So many women placed emphasis on the way they should be treated by their man, but how many women really treat their men right?
Sometimes, women want to be treated right that they forget their man is human and has emotions too and deserves to be treated right as well.

These quotes are a reminder for every woman.

1. A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman.

2. If a woman doesn’t chase a man a little. She doesn’t love him.

3. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

4. If a woman expects a man to be an Angel in.her life, she must first create heaven for him. Angels don’t live in hell

5. If a man gives you loyalty, treat him like royalty.

6. After he opens the car door and you
get in, lean over his seat and open his door for him.

7. A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute does in the night.

8. A real woman values her relationship, no matter how many men that come after her.

9. They say ‘behind every successful man is a woman’. Be the woman who adds value to her man’s life.

10. A good woman should recognise that which her man does for her and appreciate him for it.

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Advantage of being Single

In case you missed our previous post related to singles you can check it out by clicking Here(reason why some ladies are single) .
  This particular post was inspired by one of my close female friend (I will not mention her name)  But she's been single for quite a while and think being single is a curse or probably the worse life a woman could ever wish for.  
  I try to outline some very few advantage a single lady could afford not to miss.    Read below...  

You're single now. Do you know what that means? It means that you're in control of yourself. It means the only one who has a say in anything you do is you. It means you don't have to deal with a guy you're no longer with. Maybe, you've gotten so familiar with him that you can't help but feel like you still belong to him. Maybe, you've gotten so comfortable with him that you can't help but make yourself available to him. Maybe, you've gotten so used to being his girlfriend that you can't help but listen to him. Maybe, you've been attached so him for so long that you can't help but allow him to affect you. Maybe, you've been thru so much with him that you can't help but fall back into old habits with him. Maybe, you've loved him so much that you can't help but let him have power over you. But this time, let it be over for good. This time, let it be done permanently. This time, let it be finished for the last time. You've walked away before and you've always come back, but this time? This time, you should stay gone. You've tried for as long as you did. You've held on for as long as you could. You've put up with as much as you can. The man you once fell in love with became someone who isn't good for you. The relationship that once felt perfect became something that feels toxic. The happy girl you once were became a girl who still smiled, but always has the saddest eyes. Please, stay single now that you are because it's the best thing that's happened to you in a long time.

However being single is not the life to live.

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Why Do Some People Always End Up With People They Can Control?

Photo Credit-- Google

If one was to read a description about what it means to have a healthy relationship, they are unlikely to come across the importance of one person controlling the other. If they were to come across the word 'control', they may hear about the importance of self-control.
This is because there are likely to be times in a relationship when one will have the desire to do something that is not in their best interests. In this case, they will need to keep a close eye on what is taking place within them and to delay gratification.
As Time Passes
They may find that as time passes, it will be possible for them to fulfil a need that they had to put to one side at another point in time. However, at the same time, this could relate to a need that they won't be able to fulfil.
It could be said that that will define whether one can fulfil a need will all depend on what the need is. For example, part of them may feel the need to buy something, but if they were to go one step further it could end up having a negative effect on their relationship.
Saving Up
This could be a time in their relationship where they are saving up for a holiday, or they might even be looking to buy a new house, for instance. Therefore, it will be important for them to only buy what they need to buy.
On one hand, this is going to cause them to experience frustration, but on the other hand, it will allow them to achieve what they want to achieve. As a result of this, no matter how much pain they have to experience in the short-term through delaying gratification, it will be worth it in the long-term.
The Experience
On one side then, there will be what this will allow them to achieve, and on the other side, there will be the effect this has on their relationship. Through behaving in this way, one will show how committed they are and this is likely to have a positive effect on their relationship.
Whereas if they were unable to stop themselves from buying things they don't need, it is going to be a lot harder for them to save money. The other person could end up questioning their commitment and this is bound to have a negative effect on the relationship.
Impulsive
They could end up being described as 'impulsive' and this could also cause their partner to wonder if they can trust them. Yet even though one can come across as though they don't care, this doesn't mean this is actually the case.
It could simply come down to the fact that they find it hard to contain their inner experience and it is then going to be normal for them to lose self-control. It will then be important for them to develop self-control.
The End
If they were unable to do this, their relationship could gradually begin to deteriorate, but while this may allow them to reflect on what has happened; this might not take place. In this case, they might need to go through a similar experience before they begin to change.
In order to develop this ability, it will take patience and persistence, but through doing this, their life is likely to be far more fulfilling. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
Controlling Others
However, if one is in a position where they control the people they end up with, it could be said that they also have trouble when it comes to experiencing self-control. Yet even though this is going to mean that their behaviour is going to have a negative effect on their relationships, it doesn't mean they will realise this.
While this could be because they are unaware of the effect their behaviour has on others; it could also be a sign that the people they end up with tolerate their behaviour. They are then going to put up with how one behaves and if they don't, one could end up ignoring the feedback that they receive.
The Outsider
If someone else was to observe their relationship, they could say that one person comes across as though they are in control, and the other person acts as though they have no control. They may notice that there are times when the person who has no control looks as though they are not too happy, but they could also notice moments when they are.
This could cause them to wonder how someone could feel happy in this kind of relationship, and this shows how people feel comfortable with different things. For example, if one was controlled during their younger years, they can end up gravitating towards people who are the same.
Familiar
And unless they look into what took place and begin to work through the pain, they are going to be attracted to what is familiar. It might not even have occurred to them that life can be different.
A big part of this might be for them to realise that they can survive without being controlled. During their younger years, their needs are likely to have been ignored and they would have had to fulfil their caregiver's needs instead.
The Other Experience
When one always ends up with people they can control, it can be a sign that they feel powerless at a deeper level. Therefore, although they can come across as strong, this is going to be nothing more than an illusion.
It could then be said that the reason they need to control others is because they have a fear of being controlled. So through being with someone they can control, it keeps their deeper feelings at bay.
Early Years
Like the person who feels comfortable with being controlled due to what happened during their childhood years, they may also have been controlled during their childhood. The reason they are different can be because they have ended up identifying with the person who controlled them.
They have then gone from being a victim to be a perpetrator, but as they haven't taken the time to question what took place they might not even realise what has happened. Their primary concern could be to avoid how they feel.
Awareness
If one can relate to this and they want to change, it might be necessary for them to look at what is taking place within them. They might have beliefs that need to be changed on one level and an emotional build-up that needs to be released at another level.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9262882

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